Your days of opening beers with a key chain are over.  Although it may only be in your head, expect that your beers are going to be colder and tastier having been opened with The Neanderthal Bottle Opener.

Made by hand, this must-have tool features a 9-inch sustainably-sourced Walnut handle, heavy duty cast iron opener and nylon paracord for hanging from your grill or next to your fire pit... exactly where you want it.

Warning: Your friends are going to try to steal this.  Keep a line of sight on it at all times.

The Neanderthal Bottle Opener is approximately 12 inches long and weighs less than a pound.